Archive for the ‘tha maxx’ Tag

Blueberry Pancakes… I mean… Senior Moments

Looking for the appropriate way to tell your elders that they are old and forgetful? Get Senior… …Moments. The board game that’s so slow and aimless, they gave it two sets of ellipses. It’s the gift that you can keep on giving, because they’ll never remember that you gave it to them.

Senior Moments the Game

 Loser gets sent off to the nursing home! Let’s take a closer look.

Wow, that’s a lot of pieces. I can’t believe the playing tokens aren’t Werther’s Original candies.

Let’s talk about the box itself. First of all, love the color choice. It’s prune, and we all know how the elderly love their prunes. Smart marketing choice. And the half a pair of glasses (probably the victim of a senior moment accident) is another brilliant touch. How this game wound up on the shelf of TJ Maxx is beyond me.

Man-Armed Lady isn’t making that expression because she is losing the game. She’s not even playing. She’s just tired of having to continuously explain the rules and getting interrupted with stories about a fruit stand they visited during The War.  Grampa Plaid Shirt has lost control of his arms because he thinks he has Bingo.

In summary, this game is the perfect way to remind someone, “Hey, at least you’re not dead yet.”

Found by: Thanks to Bess for sending me this incredible find.
Found at: Tha Maxx, Kansas City

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Coochie Coochie Coo

Even though you tend to laugh when it is happening, being tickled is not enjoyable. It is painful and all-around terrible. But of course, some foot-fetish sculpture designer decided that this legal form of torture would make an excellent conversation piece.

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Imagine having this in your home. Now imagine a new friend or acquaintance coming to your home for the first time. Unless they too enjoy feet and tickling, you have just lost a friend.

This verifies my theory that TJ Maxx is the store of choice for dismemberment enthusiasts and sadists. Oh, and bargain hunters.

Our Lady Of Boobs, er Booze

Identifying your wine glass at a party can be a challenge, unless you have a set of those nifty charm things. Instead, I plan on showing up to all parties with this delightful wine glass.

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I’m pretty sure a teenage boy or a plastic surgeon designed this glass. Not only are the breasts enormous and abnormally round, but they’re practically a chin rest for this lady. But I bet she appreciates it since her pencil neck probably can’t support the weight of her bulbous head. The level of back pain this lady must experience!

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Then again, if my breasts are so massive that they are wider than my arm, I think chronic back pain would take a back seat to my lack of mobility. Or, judging by her oddly tapered dress, she may be a mermaid. Her giant boobs might be an evolutionary floatation device.

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I thought they took classy to the next level by adding a Camel Wide on the side, but I think it’s really a flesh-colored lipstick. With a kiss-print on the other side in a completely different color.

Yep, so I’m going to take this glass to parties. I don’t think it can ever be washed, so I’ll probably have to commit to red or white right off the bat. The trail of blue glitter will leave a fun reminder of my presence.

Found by: Caroline
Found at: Tha Maxx, Kansas City