Archive for the ‘figurines’ Tag

Coochie Coochie Coo

Even though you tend to laugh when it is happening, being tickled is not enjoyable. It is painful and all-around terrible. But of course, some foot-fetish sculpture designer decided that this legal form of torture would make an excellent conversation piece.

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Imagine having this in your home. Now imagine a new friend or acquaintance coming to your home for the first time. Unless they too enjoy feet and tickling, you have just lost a friend.

This verifies my theory that TJ Maxx is the store of choice for dismemberment enthusiasts and sadists. Oh, and bargain hunters.

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It’s Not Broken, It’s Modified

Finding a broken, mismatched, or otherwise worthless item at TJ Maxx is as difficult as finding hay in a haystack. But why throw away a mostly worthless item when you can attempt to sell it for slightly less money?

Would you like a set of 4 uh, 3, oh, who cares how many there are, just buy these freakin’ glasses. If you have a fourth person come over to your house, make them share.
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The mythical unibull lives at TJ Maxx. And no, it’s not a bull statue with one horn missing marked down a little so no one would notice. That would be stupid. A unibull is a more frightening, badass version of the unicorn. A unicorn for manly men, if you will. So buy this one!

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This girl teaches us a lot about overcoming challenges and that all of us are different. She clearly used to have arms, and she seems pretty happy despite her loss.

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I am kind of concerned that the bottle in her pocket indicates she was holding a baby. Oh, God. WHERE IS THE BABY? And can someone help our armless friend put on her other shoe?

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So, as you can see, broken houseware items are not distracting at all. Buy these!

Found by: Caroline
Found at: Tha Maxx, Kansas City (all on one day too!)

There Are Angels in the Sky… Doin’ It

Oh, boy. Let’s just get this out there. This is a pregnant African-American Angel with an abnormally small face-to-head ratio, a sparkly trim robe, and she’s holding a rose. That doesn’t sound so strange, now does it?

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At first I thought she was just a little bloated, but a side view confirms she’s baby smuggling. No worries, it looks like that baby is ready to come out soon. I don’t understand that strange bulge near her feet, but I’ll take that over a visible popped belly button any day.

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Aesthetics aside, I think it’s kind of weird to give someone a statue of anything pregnant. Unless you’re Michelle Duggar, it’s a temporary state (and one most women probably don’t care to remember). And then there’s the angel factor. I thought angels didn’t have genitalia, let alone reproductive organs.

But I digress. This item is in surprisingly good condition for being at TJ Maxx. If you need a moderately creepy pregnant angel to watch over your other knicknacks, I think this one would be just fine.

Found by: Caroline
Found at: Tha Maxx, Kansas City

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I don’t understand that strange bulge near her feet, but I’ll take that over a visible popped belly button any day.