Archive for the ‘figurines’ Tag

Coochie Coochie Coo

Even though you tend to laugh when it is happening, being tickled is not enjoyable. It is painful and all-around terrible. But of course, some foot-fetish sculpture designer decided that this legal form of torture would make an excellent conversation piece.


Imagine having this in your home. Now imagine a new friend or acquaintance coming to your home for the first time. Unless they too enjoy feet and tickling, you have just lost a friend.

This verifies my theory that TJ Maxx is the store of choice for dismemberment enthusiasts and sadists. Oh, and bargain hunters.


It’s Not Broken, It’s Modified

Finding a broken, mismatched, or otherwise worthless item at TJ Maxx is as difficult as finding hay in a haystack. But why throw away a mostly worthless item when you can attempt to sell it for slightly less money?

Would you like a set of 4 uh, 3, oh, who cares how many there are, just buy these freakin’ glasses. If you have a fourth person come over to your house, make them share.

The mythical unibull lives at TJ Maxx. And no, it’s not a bull statue with one horn missing marked down a little so no one would notice. That would be stupid. A unibull is a more frightening, badass version of the unicorn. A unicorn for manly men, if you will. So buy this one!


This girl teaches us a lot about overcoming challenges and that all of us are different. She clearly used to have arms, and she seems pretty happy despite her loss.


I am kind of concerned that the bottle in her pocket indicates she was holding a baby. Oh, God. WHERE IS THE BABY? And can someone help our armless friend put on her other shoe?


So, as you can see, broken houseware items are not distracting at all. Buy these!

Found by: Caroline
Found at: Tha Maxx, Kansas City (all on one day too!)

There Are Angels in the Sky… Doin’ It

Oh, boy. Let’s just get this out there. This is a pregnant African-American Angel with an abnormally small face-to-head ratio, a sparkly trim robe, and she’s holding a rose. That doesn’t sound so strange, now does it?

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At first I thought she was just a little bloated, but a side view confirms she’s baby smuggling. No worries, it looks like that baby is ready to come out soon. I don’t understand that strange bulge near her feet, but I’ll take that over a visible popped belly button any day.

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Aesthetics aside, I think it’s kind of weird to give someone a statue of anything pregnant. Unless you’re Michelle Duggar, it’s a temporary state (and one most women probably don’t care to remember). And then there’s the angel factor. I thought angels didn’t have genitalia, let alone reproductive organs.

But I digress. This item is in surprisingly good condition for being at TJ Maxx. If you need a moderately creepy pregnant angel to watch over your other knicknacks, I think this one would be just fine.

Found by: Caroline
Found at: Tha Maxx, Kansas City

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I don’t understand that strange bulge near her feet, but I’ll take that over a visible popped belly button any day.