Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Coochie Coochie Coo

Even though you tend to laugh when it is happening, being tickled is not enjoyable. It is painful and all-around terrible. But of course, some foot-fetish sculpture designer decided that this legal form of torture would make an excellent conversation piece.

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Imagine having this in your home. Now imagine a new friend or acquaintance coming to your home for the first time. Unless they too enjoy feet and tickling, you have just lost a friend.

This verifies my theory that TJ Maxx is the store of choice for dismemberment enthusiasts and sadists. Oh, and bargain hunters.

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Tell me more, Once-ler!

Ever wonder what a Truffula Tree might look like in real life? No? Well, someone did.

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Unless your prom or interior decorating theme involves Dr. Seuss, there is no reason for you to purchase tinsel attrocity. I think my favorite part of this piece is the completely mismatched base, which is trying so hard to blend in with the rest of the Christmas rejects.

Wait. Time out. Is that a power cord I see? Call Clark Griswold.

Found by: Internet Gnomes (Flickr)
Found At: Unknown

Our Lady Of Boobs, er Booze

Identifying your wine glass at a party can be a challenge, unless you have a set of those nifty charm things. Instead, I plan on showing up to all parties with this delightful wine glass.

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I’m pretty sure a teenage boy or a plastic surgeon designed this glass. Not only are the breasts enormous and abnormally round, but they’re practically a chin rest for this lady. But I bet she appreciates it since her pencil neck probably can’t support the weight of her bulbous head. The level of back pain this lady must experience!

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Then again, if my breasts are so massive that they are wider than my arm, I think chronic back pain would take a back seat to my lack of mobility. Or, judging by her oddly tapered dress, she may be a mermaid. Her giant boobs might be an evolutionary floatation device.

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I thought they took classy to the next level by adding a Camel Wide on the side, but I think it’s really a flesh-colored lipstick. With a kiss-print on the other side in a completely different color.

Yep, so I’m going to take this glass to parties. I don’t think it can ever be washed, so I’ll probably have to commit to red or white right off the bat. The trail of blue glitter will leave a fun reminder of my presence.

Found by: Caroline
Found at: Tha Maxx, Kansas City

Sweatpants of Heretics

I was looking for a pair of sweatpants to give to my mother for Christmas last year, so I visited the “Active Bottoms” section of TJ Maxx. I know, nothing says “Love ya’, Ma” like a pair of sweatpants, and TJ Maxx is probably the reason for the phrase “it’s the thought that counts”. But that’s what she said she wanted. And my mom would kill me for not finding a good deal.

I found a great pair for only $14.99. Mom would be so proud!

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And then I looked a little closer at the logo I saw at the bottom of one of the legs. What an odd place for a logo, I thought…

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Oh.

They had a price tag and an anti-theft device, so it wasn’t like Smokey McFireStarter pulled a switcheroo. No, somewhere along the line, the Marlboro Zorro left his mark. I like to think they survived a fiery wreck on the interstate and that the TJ Maxx elves came and collected them.

I went back a few weeks later and miraculously, no one had purchased the cigarette-marred pants. But they had gone down to $11.99.