Sweatpants of Heretics

I was looking for a pair of sweatpants to give to my mother for Christmas last year, so I visited the “Active Bottoms” section of TJ Maxx. I know, nothing says “Love ya’, Ma” like a pair of sweatpants, and TJ Maxx is probably the reason for the phrase “it’s the thought that counts”. But that’s what she said she wanted. And my mom would kill me for not finding a good deal.

I found a great pair for only $14.99. Mom would be so proud!


And then I looked a little closer at the logo I saw at the bottom of one of the legs. What an odd place for a logo, I thought…



They had a price tag and an anti-theft device, so it wasn’t like Smokey McFireStarter pulled a switcheroo. No, somewhere along the line, the Marlboro Zorro left his mark. I like to think they survived a fiery wreck on the interstate and that the TJ Maxx elves came and collected them.

I went back a few weeks later and miraculously, no one had purchased the cigarette-marred pants. But they had gone down to $11.99.


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